We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i think i scared a bird with my dick
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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