I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
