No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
