He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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