Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
