Just cropdusted the office
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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