So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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