She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
