god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize