Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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