Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
accomplished twins. life is a go
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
