I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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