i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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