DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You're like the curious george of whores
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
