just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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