Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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