Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize