i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize