Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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