Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
