Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
