pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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