four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
