I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
