Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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