Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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