Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
did i walk over a car last night?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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