What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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