Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
