I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
