Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
