suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
