I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
