i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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