yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
