Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I want a musical about memes.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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