everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
