He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
