Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
