i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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