i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
