its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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