Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
