I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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