They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
