you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
