I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
