i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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