He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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