Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
