A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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