I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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