i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
