ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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