wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
We had to coat check the pizza.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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