Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
