just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
